(In progress.) Dr. Ben Waxman, my late uncle, was a highly esteemed obstetrician and gynecologist in Washington D.C. He came out as gay in the mid 1970’s and succumbed to AIDS in 1989. We were estranged during the 1980s. Though I did have the chance to see him before he passed away, I never got to come out to him. The title refers to the last of the four questions asked during the Passover service, from the son who does not know how to ask. I am seeking out Dr. Waxman’s friends and colleagues in order to correspond and hopefully visit and interview. These communications are an attempt to know him as a gay man, in my search for mentorship, and lineage. If you knew my uncle, or were his patient, or socialized with him, or davened with him, please write to me. I would really appreciate it.